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18 December 2006 @ 08:22 am
All Your Insides Fall To Pieces (House/Sandman, Cuddy, Wilson, House)  
Title: All Your Insides Fall To Pieces
Fandom: House/Sandman
Characters: Despair, Cuddy, Wilson, House
Summary: Despair watches.
Notes: It's a pretty short glimpse at Cuddy, Wilson and House. Takes place during the Tritter arc, sort of. I'm not entirely sure where this came from. Finals, maybe?


In Despair's realm, there are many windows. They hang in the air, like clouds. In the windows, you can see people, the shadows of people.

Despair walks in her realm from time to time. Her footfalls make no sound in the fog.

She stops beside a window, a dark wooden one, and watches as a woman holds a pregnancy test in her fist and tries not to cry. Despair knows her story. (Despair knows all their stories.)

Despair knows the way the woman presses a hand against her stomach when she thinks about it, knows the way she comes up with names in the middle of the night, knows the way she imagines holding it in her arms. Despair knows that the test in her hand reads negative.

Despair knows all of these things and thinks that the woman has not been beautiful until this moment, when she is giving up hope.

Despair holds the woman's face in her hands (because she is one of the Endless, who are everywhere and nowhere all at once), and slices a line down her cheek with her hook. The mark on her face looks like a tear.

There are other windows, however, and Despair moves on. In the next one, the edges of the window are thin and pale, and she leans against them as she pushes her face toward the glass. Inside, a man is sitting on a hotel bed. His head is bent, and his back curves forward. There is weariness in every breath he takes.

Despair knows his story, too. She knows the way it felt for his wife to leave him, for his best friend to yell at him, for his job to be yanked out from underneath his feet. Despair knows that he is in the hotel room because he has nowhere else to go.

She presses a kiss to his cheek, and slides her hook into his heart. She pulls, and she can feel the blood spilling out of it, splashing across the floor. He won't cry, she knows. But he will hurt, and his pain will taste sweet and sharp.

Despair keeps walking. She walks for what may be years, weeks, seconds, anything in between. The next window is gray metal, cold and dry to the touch. She peers inside. Inside, there is a man who is sitting on his couch. In front of the man, there are a line of white pills, neatly arranged. He is staring at them, and he is counting each one. Despair knows his story well.

Despair knows that there are only ten left, that this means they will only last a day at the most. Despair knows that he knows this too. She slides her hook into his lip, pulling his mouth open, and watches as he tosses a pill inside.

There are only nine left, now. His dread feels like velvet, soft and thick.

Despair leaves, walking away without a sound.

(But not really, because she is still there, still with the man and his couch and his pills.)

(She is always there.)


FIN.



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Rogaroga on December 18th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
Wow. This was positively chilling. Excellent writing, but almost painful to read. Kay, scratch the 'almost'.
thedeadparrot: lightthedeadparrot on December 18th, 2006 09:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'm glad it worked. Despair is never pretty.
Stephstephantom on December 18th, 2006 08:29 pm (UTC)
I'm not familiar with Sandman, but this was interesting. Shows how the three of them are somehow tied together, and yet each is alone too. And is that a Radiohead quote I see? :)
thedeadparrot: flyingthedeadparrot on December 18th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you. That is, in fact a Radiohead quote. :p

Also, I highly recommend Sandman, if you ever get the chance. It's amazing.
Tea and Strumpetsbeautysmuse on December 19th, 2006 05:18 am (UTC)
I just wanted to stop by and say how amazing this is. Endless fanfic is almost always about Dream (with a dose of Delrium or Death in there, sometimes) and I just wanted to applaud you for takig on, not only one of the other ones, but the one who is the most painful.

You captured her really well. I'm not into House enough to know if the first two are characters (Cuddy and Wilson?) in the show, but House's characterization is spot-on, from what I know.

In a word: billiant!
thedeadparrot: housethedeadparrot on December 19th, 2006 05:44 am (UTC)
Thanks. I totally read this awesome Desire fanfic, and I just kind of wanted to write something with one of the less popular Endless, because all the Endless are awesome.

And yeah, I'm really glad that I managed to get Despair, here, seeing as she's one of the ones that we don't see that much of, and oh man, it hurt a little to write this, because she is the most painful of the Endless, and where she shows up, there really is this absence of hope.

It's good hear to that House was in character as well. :)
alexao on January 2nd, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)
I'm a huge fan of both House and Sandman -- recently finished re-reading all the Sandman comics in order -- and just wanted to say how much I really enjoyed reading this.
thedeadparrot: focused!housethedeadparrot on January 2nd, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Sandman is such pure love. It's amazing. :)
astarte59: Tara glancing by palest_sepiaastarte59 on April 27th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
This is really marvelous. I love the idea of looking at these characters from Despair's POV--we see such dark moments for all three characters, but there's a gentleness to your description of them to Despair's particular way of caring. And it's so beautifully written with gorgeous details.
thedeadparrot: death and dreamthedeadparrot on April 27th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It is a pretty dark story, but yeah, I do think Despair does care, in her particular sort of way.
astarte59: Dream and Deathastarte59 on May 7th, 2007 06:22 am (UTC)
Is your Death/Dream icon available by any chance?
thedeadparrot: death and dreamthedeadparrot on May 7th, 2007 01:26 pm (UTC)
Yup. It's mine, so feel free to steal it if you like. :)
astarte59: House/Wilson hands by littlemissggastarte59 on July 29th, 2007 02:11 am (UTC)
I've been meaning to rec this story and "Heartbeats" in my LJ forever, but as with all my intentions, MS gets in the way. But I've finally done it; my comments aren't terribly deep, but I hope I bring these marvelous pieces of writing some more readers.
astarte59: House woundedastarte59 on July 29th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
Just reread the story. I love the description of how Cuddy will hold her hand to her stomach etc, and how Despair "thinks that the woman has not been beautiful until this moment, when she is giving up hope."

I hang with Despair a lot; we know each other very well. The only difference is that I try to maintain a sense of humor whenever possible, like when Mervyn Pumpkinhead sarcastically describes Dream being all angsty about "another broad." Forgive me for the shameless self-promotion, but I wrote a book called The Byronic Hero in Film, Fiction, and Television and there's a section on Sandman. I really think Sandman is one of the most brilliant pieces of literature in English in the 20th century. I wish my career had been longer (I was an English professor until MS made me stop) and I could have done more w/ Sandman in my research and my classes.
thedeadparrot: eowyn judethedeadparrot on July 30th, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the recs! You may not think the comments were much, but they definitely made my day better!

And I totally agree that Sandman is amazing literature, and I hope there's a day when people won't dismiss it as "just a comic book".

I am also sorry to hear about the MS, though I doubt that I can say anything to make it better. :/