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21 December 2006 @ 08:55 pm
The Drying Of Your Tears (House/BSG, House/Wilson)  
Title: The Drying Of Your Tears
Fandom: House/Battlestar Galactica
Pairing: House/Wilson
Summary: House and Wilson deal with their issues. Sort of.
Notes: Takes place somewhere between Breathe, Keep Breathing and A Song To Keep Us Warm during the first season. I apologize if I got the timeline all wrong.



The first time House catches Wilson flirting with a medic, he's tempted to turn around, walk away, pretend it never happened, because it would make everything simpler in the long run. He can just assume Wilson's cheating on him, and that way, it won't surprise him when he finds out that it's true.

But if there's one thing House is bad at, it's impulse control, so when the medic leaves (she's pretty, too. Which just makes House just that much more certain), he slides up to Wilson (not that easy with the cane) and says, "So, have you frakked her, yet?"

Wilson stiffens, momentarily, and turns to look House. "I'm not cheating on you," he says, and his voice is steady.

That pisses House off, because he hates it when Wilson's trying to lie to him. It's borderline right now, could go either way, but all that could mean is that Wilson's becoming a better liar. "I bet you told your wives that exact same thing. Try again."

Wilson does break his gaze for a second, but that could just be a flinch and not an actual giveaway. "I'm not cheating on you."

His voice is dead on for that one, and House has to admit that either Wilson's not lying or he's learned how to fake it really well in the last week or two, which is possible, but not likely. "Well, right now, you're still in your 'I'm in a committed relationship' phase, which was due to pass a week ago, but you know how it varies from person to person," House says, because it's true.

That was definitely a flinch from Wilson. "House..." he starts, and he has that really hurt, 'why do you kick puppies?' look on his face. House decides that this moment now officially sucks, so he takes off down the corridor so that they can end it before it starts sucking even more.

But Wilson can't seem to do that for whatever reason, because he catches up to House, making the escape attempt kind of pointless. "I know I can't actually say anything that could get you to believe me when I say that I'm not going to cheat on you."

House stares at him, trying to figure him out. "But?"

"But I'm not."

This time, House doesn't actually have to check to see if Wilson's telling the truth. He knows Wilson believes it, at least. (House wants to believe him, too.) He pauses for a moment before replying. "Well, I'm glad we cleared that up," he says and once again, resumes his getaway.

---

"I heard you're an oncologist," a voice says as Wilson's going over a set of incomprehensible charts. He's really going to have to yell at House later about that. Though House isn't really talking to him much at the moment. It's not really the silent treatment. More like a standoff, actually.

He looks up to see an older man with white hair and a matching lab coat standing in the doorway. Wilson half-smiles at him. "Used to be, at least." He holds out a hand. "Wilson."

The other man shakes it. "Cottle." Wilson notices that he's carrying a folder, but he doesn't push. He's going to find out why Cottle's here eventually, no need to rush.

"What can I do for you?" Wilson asks. He keeps his tone friendly, professional, the way he would have if Cottle had stepped into his office back home. It's easier, for him, to keep up these little illusions of normalcy.

Cottle opens the folder pulling out a couple of x-rays. "I'd like your opinion on these. A good idea of possible treatment."

Wilson takes his time to go over them, holding them up to the light for better contrast. Female, Wilson notices, breast cancer. He sighs and shakes his head. "It's progressed pretty far. Operating on it would be pretty much impossible. Diloxin would be your best bet, but I don't know how well they'd be able to hold up in these conditions."

"She's already insisted that we not go with diloxin," Cottle says. The expression on his face hasn't budged, which Wilson almost feels a sense of relief over. This would be about the point where House would start in on his "patients are all frakking morons" speech. "She says she wants to try chamalla."

Wilson blinks at him a few times, just to make sure he's just not missing that hint of amusement that would tell him that Cottle's joking. "Well," he says, shrugging his shoulders and rubbing his neck. "I guess it might be worth a shot if she doesn't have any other options." He watches Cottle closely, trying to pick up a reaction. "But I doubt it's going to do much. I'd suggest some pain meds. Just to make her more comfortable."

There isn't much of one, just a curt, formal nod and possibly a flash of frustration. "Thank you, Dr. Wilson," he says.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be more help," Wilson replies, honestly. Cottle seems to understand that, because he nods to that as well, before turning and leaving, taking the x-rays with him.

---

Wilson realized a long time ago that he's in love with House, and at the very least, he's not afraid of admitting it to himself. (Admitting it to House, on the other hand, is something completely different.)

It's not the healthiest thing to be in the entire world, and it's definitely not the most sane, but it's true, and Wilson has known it for so long, it's simply become a fact of his life, like sleeping or breathing. Of course, now he actually has to deal with the consequences of it, all the messy sides of their relationship, the things he pitied Stacy for when she was the one who had to deal with this shit.

At the moment, House is stalking him, something that is entirely too easy for him to do, them being stuck on the same ship and all. It's also amazing how stealthy he can be, even with the cane. Wilson is beginning to listen for it all the time, to the point where he's convinced himself he's being paranoid.

But every time he lets down his guard, House appears out of nowhere. Like now, for instance.

"So, it's been two weeks past the point where you usually start cheating on your wives. Are you trying to go for a new record?" House says by way of greeting.

Wilson sighs. He knows he deserves this. He really does. It's the Gods' way of making him suffer for all his past infidelities, and it's working. He's suffering. A lot. "I'm not going to cheat on you," he says, even though it's completely futile.

House rolls his eyes. "Not this again. Denial is so not your best color."

"At this point, I'm beginning to think that you want me to cheat on you." Wilson wishes, sometimes (okay, a lot of the time), that House wouldn't have this compulsion to make everything so frakking difficult all the time.

"I want you to own up to the fact that you're full of shit," House says, completely ignoring Wilson's point. He's just being deliberately obtuse at the point, and Wilson kind of hates him for it.

Wilson sighs again. "Can we put this off until the point where it actually becomes an issue? Because I haven't cheated on you yet, and I'm certainly not planning on cheating on you, so can we wait until I actually cheat on you before we have this conversation?"

House stares at him for a moment, considering. "Fine," he says, childishly, before disappearing as quickly as he appeared.

Wilson thinks that maybe these conversations should kill this screwed up thing he confuses for love, just a little, but they don't. He closes his eyes and resists the urge to whack his head against the bulkhead.

He is so frakked.

---

House wakes up one morning to find Wilson hunched over by the wireless catching every word that's coming out of it. It's some political pundits on some political show, talking about the ramifications of some major political something or other that he doesn't quite have enough in him to care about. The fact that Wilson looks worried is something odd, though. Wilson cares more about politics than House does, sure, but not that much.

He opens his mouth to make a snarky comment, but Wilson holds up a finger, silencing him. His expression is tense, and that means that this is really serious.

"... Adama forming a public inquiry. We have no idea how much more information they have that they're not revealing to us, but this a major revelation and I think I understand their reasoning behind it..."

The wireless doesn't tell him anything, and House is now even more confused than he was before. He gives Wilson a questioning look, and Wilson hands over this morning's newspaper.

"Cylons Now Resemble Humans" is the top headline (the only headline, really), and House blinks at it a few times. Well, shit. That is actually news compared to the crap the media seems to churn out more often.

He reads the rest of the article and lets out a low whistle. Wilson turns to look at him, and House says, "That's going to be interesting, at least."

Wilson stares at him. "This isn't going to be pretty, House," he says.

The article also has two pictures of two known Cylon models, and House wracks his brain to see if they look familiar. Not really. The likeness is perfect, as far as he can tell from the small, blurry images, and this really is going to be interesting. He wants to know how they did it, how they built (grew) themselves to be like them, how they managed to get it so close. It's an interesting puzzle. How do you create a human out of a machine?

He wonders if they're going to treat a Cylon without knowing about it. He wonders if they already have.

"The shit's about to hit the fan," Wilson says, and House knows he's talking about the Fleet, the politics of it, but that's not really the interesting part of it. Not the interesting part at all.

---

"We should go on vacation," Wilson says, as they eat lunch in the mess, and House rolls his eyes and steals some processed algae off his plate, just because he can. House has decided to go easy on Wilson for the time being due to good behavior, so things are mostly back to normal. Mostly.

"Go where? Caprica? I'm sure the weather's wonderful this time of year. We could relax by the beach and catch all the gamma rays. I hear that's totally in vogue." Objectively, House knows Wilson's right. The Sargon is getting a little cramped, and House is about to go a little insane from seeing the same ten cabins every day. But optimism makes him cranky.

Wilson ignores everything he just said, much to House's irritation and gratitude. "Cloud 9 would be nice. Fake sun. Actual plants." He pauses for a moment. "A bar."

"Well, why didn't you say that earlier?" House says. "I'm in."

Wilson shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. It's the amused smile, the one that he saves for the moments when House is being tolerably annoying. "Of course, that's the thing that gets you to go."

House smirks. "Duh," he says. He likes the way Wilson's smile lights up his face, and the fact that he even thinks that makes him want to shove his head in the ground, and pretend the world doesn't exist. "I sure wasn't going to go for the plants," he says, scornfully. He has a reputation to protect.

"Why not? Plants are nice," Wilson's voice has that mild tone he uses when he's trying to hide something, and House knows that it's a bigger deal for him that he's letting on. They don't have any plants on the Sargon.

House considers his options. He could be more of a jerk about this than he is right now (which would probably be the normal course of action) or he could actually try to give a little for a change (which would probably be the sort of thing Wilson would want him to do). "Whatever," he says with a roll of his eyes, stealing some more of Wilson's food off his plate.

Wilson changes the subject, and there's an expression on his face that might be gratitude. House isn't sure. He hasn't seen that one very much.

---

Every ship has its own Wall. The Sargon's is relatively large for a ship its size, but that makes sense. They're a hospital ship, after all.

The largest Wall in the Fleet is on Galactica, so big they have individual walls for each of the Twelve Colonies, which also makes sense in its own way. Everything circles around Galactica. Everything.

Wilson doesn't have that many photos with him, really, from before (or after, even). He'd generally been good about throwing out photographs after the divorces, so he'd only had one of Julie that had hidden inside his wallet during the post-divorce sweep. He also found another one, of him and his brothers when they were younger, but that was it. He'd left his photo albums at home.

Whether or not House has any photos of his own, Wilson doesn't know, and House probably wouldn't tell him.

Of course, that doesn't mean House doesn't accompany him to the Sargon's Wall when Wilson puts up his photos. "It's all a pathetic form of masochism," House pesters, as Wilson places the photograph of Julie at one of the edges, where it doesn't cover up any of the other photos. "You think that putting a picture on a wall will make you feel better, because then you can feel solidarity with, oh, the entire rest of the Fleet, but really, you're just doing it so that you can walk by it every day and feel really depressed."

Wilson places his brothers' photo underneath the one of Julie and feels the sudden, sharp pang of their loss. (Even though Evan had been gone for a while, he's still even more gone now.) "Shut up, House," he says, and he's amazed that his voice doesn't choke on the words.

House does him a favor by rolling his eyes and leaving.

Wilson takes a moment to step back and see the entire thing, and he admires the patchwork completeness of it, the way in which all the pieces fit together to make a larger whole. Then he steps in closer, so that he can see each one up close, see each person lost and get a sense of the fact that they'd lived. That someone cared enough about them to remember them here.

Near the bottom, something catches his eye. It's a photo of Stacy, clearly from the days from when she was still living with House. She's smiling, and the worry lines from the infarction haven't formed yet. Her picture is right next to one of John and Blythe House, standing in front of the Delphi Museum on Caprica. They're both mostly hidden under other photos, placed deliberately there by someone who didn't want anyone else to see them. It makes Wilson smile a little, even as it makes his heart ache as well.

He never mentions it to House, because House wants to keep this secret, and Wilson is willing to let him have it.

---

It never fails to surprise House to find out how soft Wilson's skin is. He runs his lips over the back of Wilson's neck, slides them over his collarbone. Wilson's still asleep at this point, his breathing steady and slow, so that means that House can do some exploring without letting it give away too much. (It should probably bother him more that he feels the need to hide this from Wilson, but he's letting Wilson do all the psychoanalyzing from now on.)

There's a mole on Wilson's left hip that House is fascinated by. He runs a finger over it, a tongue. Wilson's body doesn't stir, probably because he got in late last night after a long shift. House knows how deep the sleeps are after one of those. He nuzzles against Wilson's hair, appreciating the feel of it against his cheek. He kind of hates himself for that. The more he does things like this, the less able he will be to deny to himself that he actually has feelings.

(He thinks Wilson knows, maybe, but House likes to pretend that he doesn't.)

Wilson turns in his sleep, so that now he's facing House. It's different, from this angle. Different from all the times Wilson crashed on his couch, all the times he caught Wilson sleeping in his office, all the times he'd walked into Wilson's room during a medical conference and poked him awake with his cane. He can see Wilson's eyes shifting under his eyelids, deep in REM state. He can feel every breath on his skin. It's different.

It makes House wonder what would have happened, if things hadn't changed. Nothing, probably. They'd have held steady for the next ten-twenty years. Wilson probably would have remarried at least one more time. House would have started shacking up with Cameron or Cuddy. But in the end, nothing would have been different, not between them.

He presses a kiss to Wilson's forehead and reminds himself that he's right here, right now. (That it doesn't really matter that things could have been different; they aren't.)

Wilson mumbles something in his sleep that House doesn't catch and pulls himself in, closer to House's body. House thinks that he might have said the word "love", and something in House panics, tries to pull away, but he stills himself, calms down the racing of his heart.

And lets Wilson stay.


FIN.

Next: Gravity Always Wins
 
 
 
pensavemoony on December 22nd, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)
*Flails*
thedeadparrot: zarek as zarekthedeadparrot on December 22nd, 2006 04:03 am (UTC)
I do hope that's good flailing. :p This is, in fact, all your fault. Well, you and everyone else who poked me for more. But you were one of them, so it's still your fault.

And I kind of hate you all for it, omg.
pensavemoony on December 22nd, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
No. It's good flailage. Last night I wasn't in any position to reply fully. I loved it. I frakking loved it. It's so perfect, because you nailed the melochany world of BSG, but this reads as a House fic. The fusion of both worlds are seemless and beatiful. Poor Wilson (House would totally be paranoid about that). And the best part is the small gesture and affection they extend to each other when the other isn't looking (Wilson not telling House about Stacy's picture; House kissing Wilson's forehead at the end). So in character, and so true. Because they are real, and not for show. *Luffs!*

Go write more. Now. Go. Go Now. We have another three weeks before BSG starts again *sobs*
Pool in shorts is stupidpetrichor_fizz on December 22nd, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
I love these. And I haven't even seen BSG. They're that good.
thedeadparrot: lightthedeadparrot on December 22nd, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm thrilled that you liked them.

Also, I totally don't do BSG justice with these. It's an amazing show. So if you get a chance, you should check it out. :)

Pool in shorts is stupidpetrichor_fizz on December 22nd, 2006 04:39 am (UTC)
You know, I'm really tempted now. Do you get a toaster oven if I start watching?
thedeadparrot: madam presidentthedeadparrot on December 22nd, 2006 04:48 am (UTC)
No, actually. Just the warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you get someone else to convert brainwash see the light.

And by "light", I mean "really awesome television show".
pensavemoony on December 22nd, 2006 05:18 pm (UTC)
Can I just jump in, totally over step my welcome, and say: BSG is the BEST show on television. Hands down. Don't think. *Hands you the toaster oven* Go rent it.
Pool in shorts is stupidpetrichor_fizz on December 24th, 2006 02:00 am (UTC)
Righto.

I love toast.
nightdog_barks: Night Foxnightdog_barks on December 22nd, 2006 03:36 am (UTC)
This is such a wonderful series; I absolutely love it. I'm so happy every time I see a new story pop up.

And I've never seen a single episode of the new BSG.

thedeadparrot: silent sighthedeadparrot on December 22nd, 2006 04:43 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm still thrilled to see that you've continued following it. :)
aris: H/W smilearisblue on December 22nd, 2006 03:37 am (UTC)
i adore this story... and this:
And lets Wilson stay

oh, i've no words. just lovely. :)
thedeadparrot: flyingthedeadparrot on December 22nd, 2006 04:57 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad the last line worked for you.
Dee Laundrydeelaundry on December 22nd, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
Sorry, I meant to comment earlier and was too busy *mem*ing the whole series. I think what I like best about this series is that it takes House and Wilson away from everything we know about them, which gives them freer rein to roam. But yet (a) you keep them in character very well; and (b) the setting brings an urgency to what they do that increases focus.

In this story, in particular, I like the emotion: how Wilson's love for House is a rock for him, but House frightens himself with his love (oh, yes, I see it there). Excellent work; can't wait to see more.
thedeadparrot: house + wilsonthedeadparrot on December 26th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry this is late, but wow, thank you so much. I'm so glad that House and Wilson read as in character, because I'm never quite sure how well I manage to balance their voices with the tone of BSG in this 'verse.

And yeah, House likes to run away from things that make him vulnerable, I think. :p
topaz_eyes on December 22nd, 2006 04:14 am (UTC)
I don't even watch BSG--this is good. Really really good.
thedeadparrot: focused!housethedeadparrot on December 26th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
This is a little late, but thanks! I'm glad that it rang true, even without having seen BSG. :)
fryadvocate: garter beltsgirl_wonder on December 29th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
This is so good. I'm in love with the way that House and Wilson weave into the universe, and better yet the way that their relationship weaves into the universe.

I do hope that there's more of this coming.
thedeadparrot: moby playthedeadparrot on January 1st, 2007 02:11 am (UTC)
Thank you!

There will probably be more of this coming, though I don't have any idea when or what it might be. This one itself took me by surprise, so yeah, the next one quite possibly will as well. :)
Juliapintsizeninja on January 3rd, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
I just read all three of these fics, and I can't even begin to tell you how incredible they are. I'm a relatively new BSG fan, so I'm still awed by how amazing the show is.

That being said, I absolutely love how you put House and Wilson into the BSGverse. I would have loved to see them on the Galactica, but I agree that it is more realistic that as civilians, they are pretty far removed from the political/military part of the 'verse. I'd still so love to see House & Adama in the same room. Hee. I was so pleased to see the appearances by Cottle and Roslin, whom I absolutely adore. The scene where House and Wilson are musing about Roslin in the sack had me in stitches. I could totally see them doing that :D And it's just so perfect that House would try and get a rise out of Roslin.

Your portrayal of House & Wilson's relationship is very touching and IC. It's so interesting to see them outside their usual realm, and how their relationship changes. I loved that House put a picture of Stacy up on the wall of the ship, and that Wilson sees it and keeps it a secret. The scenes featuring those walls in BSG are particularly heart wrenching, and you capture that emotion so well here.

Anyway, sorry for the very long comment, but I simply adore these fics. Could you recommend a good place to find more BSG fics? And out of curiosity, is there a particular pair you ship for BSG?

Again, these are amazing. I've mem'd them, and I love to see you write more!
thedeadparrot: madam presidentthedeadparrot on January 3rd, 2007 09:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad that it works for you. Don't worry about length. I love long comments. ;)

Yeah, I doubt there's any real way to put them on Galactica, mostly because I want to keep everything as close to the actual BSG canon as possible.

And yeah, I also adore Cottle and Roslin, so I kind of sneaked them in there, just because I could. :P
Adama would be tough. He's far too attached to Galactica, and I don't see House going there very voluntarily.

As far as other fics go, there's bsg2003fics is a pretty good general BSG fic comm, and crack_van has recs of various pairings saved here.

I don't really ship much on BSG, per se, because I'm not really attached to any of the pairings. Some of them I enjoy more than others, but that's about it. Though I do also have an odd urge to see Roslin/Zarek played out on screen.

As for more in this 'verse, I think I might end up writing something about the end of S1/beginning of S2 split in the fleet, but I really need to rewatch those episodes before I can really start anything. I'm also worried about everything getting a little repetitive, so after that I might just wait until the next New Caprica-esque major change in the fleet before I write anything else.
Steph: House and Wilson in carstephantom on January 18th, 2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
Wow, this was amazing. I just read the other two from this series also. I've never seen BSG, which I why I didn't read this earlier, but I'm so glad I finally did. Wonderful writing and spot-on characterization. I loved it.
thedeadparrot: going placesthedeadparrot on January 18th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yeah, I'm glad it still makes sense and feels real, even for people who have never seen Battlestar Galactica. :)
flywomanflywoman on October 17th, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
Different tone, even better than the first chapter if possible. So glad that you were poked by other adoring fans. This is such a great way to highlight the differences between House and Wilson and the negotiations they need to make. I thought that you handled their respective takes on the humanoid Cylon revelation really well. My heart really went out to House at the end, lying in the dark, cherishing Wilson only in secret. And this was my favorite line: "Wilson changes the subject, and there's an expression on his face that might be gratitude. House isn't sure. He hasn't seen that one very much."
thedeadparrot: zarek as zarekthedeadparrot on October 18th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
Hi! Thanks again. :) Since all of these were written out of order, I really wanted to get into the way the House/Wilson relationship worked itself out, and what they needed to do in order to get themselves to where they were on New Caprica. And, of course, I wanted to deal with the implications of the wall full of pictures and the human-cylon revelations.