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04 June 2007 @ 08:29 pm
Canada Is Awfully Nice In The Summer (House/SGA, House/McKay)  
Title: Canada Is Awfully Nice In The Summer, Or How To Scare Off Potential Future Boyfriends In Two Easy Steps
Fandom: House/Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: House/McKay (with a side of House/Wilson)
Rating: PG
Word count: 495
Summary: "Shhh," House says, waving Wilson off with a glare and hand motions. "I'm trying to stalk someone."
Notes: For zulu's birthday. Part of the Mathletes 'verse. Reposted here because I'm fond of it.


Wilson's almost beginning to regret bringing House along for his visit to Montreal when, on their trip to Parc du Mont Royal, he finds House hiding behind a bush, peeking through the branches. He's kneeling in the dirt (which can't be good for the knees or his leg), because otherwise he'd be too tall to hide, and Wilson hopes that this is not a sign of oncoming mental illness, because he has his hands full enough when keeping House occupied most days.

"What are you doing?" Wilson asks, because there's a slight chance that House will have a good explanation for this. Slight.

"Shhh," House says, waving Wilson off with a glare and hand motions. "I'm trying to stalk someone."

Wilson pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. "Who are you stalking, House?"

"Ex-boyfriend from high school," House hisses. "Go away."

Okay, so that's new. Wilson is suddenly very curious. And somewhat worried that there will be a repeat of the whole Stacy fiasco. He glances at what House is staring at, and he is somewhat surprised to see a medium-height, brown-haired man sitting on a park bench with a grouchy frown on his face, coffee in hand, reading a journal that Wilson can't see very well.

"Seriously?" Wilson says, not bothering to lower his voice. "You went out with this guy?" He's not entirely sure what he expected from an ex-boyfriend from House, but this isn't it.

"I was young and easily seduced, what can I say?" House mutters. "Now will you go away? I want to see if he's going out with anyone hot these days."

Okay, that was a typical House non-answer, which means it could be anything, though House is still watching, which means that House actually cares. Now this is something Wilson really wants to understand.

So they keep watching, until the guy gets a call on his cell phone, and answers it. They're too far away to hear the details, but it's really hard to mistake the irritation and disdain that passes over the guy's face. He starts yelling into the phone at some point and begins walking toward House's hiding spot, though he seems too engrossed in his conversation to notice them there.

"...here to give a lecture on some of my new, groundbreaking work, and you call me up because you're not actually competent? Why did the SGC even hire you? Were they just having a bad day? Wait, don't even think about answering that. I don't actually care. It doesn't change the fact that you are a gigantic moron. Okay, now before you destroy the entire...."

Wilson glances at House, who has the oddest expression on his face. It's not his 'I am mooning over my now-married ex-girlfriend' expression, but it's similar enough that Wilson almost feels jealous. Almost.

"Huh," Wilson says. "I guess that explains a lot."

"Shut up," House says.


FIN.
 
 
 
Lady Not-Appearing-In-This-Film: wilsondemonqueen666 on June 5th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC)
Wilson's almost beginning to regret bringing House along for his visit to Montreal when, on their trip to Parc du Mont Royal, he finds House hiding behind a bush, peeking through the branches.

Okay, I think I am randomly in love with the fact that there is an "almost" in that sentence. HEE.
thedeadparrot: mentallyscarred!Wilsonthedeadparrot on June 5th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
Wilson's just too used to House being crazy! He's all desensitized and such!
Krossthelastbloom on June 5th, 2007 02:57 am (UTC)
Love it! <3 <3
thedeadparrot: stop and thank youthedeadparrot on June 5th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
Gunbunny: genius at workburntcopper on June 7th, 2007 12:35 am (UTC)
hee. yes, house, Rodeny is just as abrasive as ever.

...can we see house bumping into shep? or wilson bumping into shep, both complaining about their respective best friends/boyfriends?
thedeadparrot: bono hmmm...thedeadparrot on June 7th, 2007 03:01 am (UTC)
There's totally a story to be told about Shep meeting House in Undressing Like Cross-Eyed Strangers that Rodney never learns about. Don't know if I'll ever write it, but it's there.
Debris K.: hand!pron Rodney icon by scorcha_feanordebris_k on June 11th, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
Squee! More of the Mathletes 'verse! (And now it has a name of its own, woo-hoo!) And House! Oh, House.
thedeadparrot: focused!housethedeadparrot on June 11th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And yeah, it was named by zulu and it just seemed to fit. Also, House is so crazy.
Davey: HughL chucks [bohand]ruggerdavey on June 12th, 2007 01:49 am (UTC)
Heh. I love that Wilson gets it once he here's Rodney being full-on snarktastic.
thedeadparrot: wilsonthedeadparrot on June 12th, 2007 10:28 pm (UTC)
Wilson's just perceptive like that! Clearly.
KB: English Footballpsyko_kittie on June 15th, 2007 11:05 pm (UTC)
HAHA! :D
thedeadparrot: housethedeadparrot on June 15th, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC)
Thanks! House is quite hilarious when he's being crazy!
N. Petrenko: Atlantis - Rodney - Brotherhoodnpetrenko on August 3rd, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)
Nice!
thedeadparrotthedeadparrot on August 3rd, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad to see you like this one as well!
GoldenRatgoldenrat84 on February 21st, 2008 06:27 am (UTC)
I love this fic! Now, I'm really hoping you write a Mathletes fic, where Rodney visits House for awhile.
thedeadparrot: obvious placethedeadparrot on February 22nd, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
I's entirely possible that I will, one day, but, alas, I have too many other projects that I am working on at the moment.
Fishfish_echo on September 20th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
Really, this ficlet is awesome. :)

House stalking Rodney, Rodney blathering on at the idiots on his mobile, and then Wilson figuring out why/how the House-Rodney school relationship worked... you managed to fit all of that into one teensy tiny ficlet! It is both really amusing and very well-written!
thedeadparrot: moby playthedeadparrot on September 27th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I am thrilled it all worked for you!