thedeadparrot (thedeadparrot) wrote in parrotfic,

Canada Is Awfully Nice In The Summer (House/SGA, House/McKay)

Title: Canada Is Awfully Nice In The Summer, Or How To Scare Off Potential Future Boyfriends In Two Easy Steps
Fandom: House/Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: House/McKay (with a side of House/Wilson)
Rating: PG
Word count: 495
Summary: "Shhh," House says, waving Wilson off with a glare and hand motions. "I'm trying to stalk someone."
Notes: For zulu's birthday. Part of the Mathletes 'verse. Reposted here because I'm fond of it.

Wilson's almost beginning to regret bringing House along for his visit to Montreal when, on their trip to Parc du Mont Royal, he finds House hiding behind a bush, peeking through the branches. He's kneeling in the dirt (which can't be good for the knees or his leg), because otherwise he'd be too tall to hide, and Wilson hopes that this is not a sign of oncoming mental illness, because he has his hands full enough when keeping House occupied most days.

"What are you doing?" Wilson asks, because there's a slight chance that House will have a good explanation for this. Slight.

"Shhh," House says, waving Wilson off with a glare and hand motions. "I'm trying to stalk someone."

Wilson pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. "Who are you stalking, House?"

"Ex-boyfriend from high school," House hisses. "Go away."

Okay, so that's new. Wilson is suddenly very curious. And somewhat worried that there will be a repeat of the whole Stacy fiasco. He glances at what House is staring at, and he is somewhat surprised to see a medium-height, brown-haired man sitting on a park bench with a grouchy frown on his face, coffee in hand, reading a journal that Wilson can't see very well.

"Seriously?" Wilson says, not bothering to lower his voice. "You went out with this guy?" He's not entirely sure what he expected from an ex-boyfriend from House, but this isn't it.

"I was young and easily seduced, what can I say?" House mutters. "Now will you go away? I want to see if he's going out with anyone hot these days."

Okay, that was a typical House non-answer, which means it could be anything, though House is still watching, which means that House actually cares. Now this is something Wilson really wants to understand.

So they keep watching, until the guy gets a call on his cell phone, and answers it. They're too far away to hear the details, but it's really hard to mistake the irritation and disdain that passes over the guy's face. He starts yelling into the phone at some point and begins walking toward House's hiding spot, though he seems too engrossed in his conversation to notice them there.

" to give a lecture on some of my new, groundbreaking work, and you call me up because you're not actually competent? Why did the SGC even hire you? Were they just having a bad day? Wait, don't even think about answering that. I don't actually care. It doesn't change the fact that you are a gigantic moron. Okay, now before you destroy the entire...."

Wilson glances at House, who has the oddest expression on his face. It's not his 'I am mooning over my now-married ex-girlfriend' expression, but it's similar enough that Wilson almost feels jealous. Almost.

"Huh," Wilson says. "I guess that explains a lot."

"Shut up," House says.

Tags: house, house/mckay, mathletes, sga, slash
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